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The Speculists

461

October 12, 2015 by Eric Blumberg

The Mike Judge animated characters Beavis and Butt-head visit the Washington Monument in a scene from the 1996 movie, 'Beavis and Butt-head Do America.'

There are people who tell you to shut up because you’re just a celebrity, but pundits, talking heads, they’re every bit the celebrity and a lot of them aren’t any more qualified than the average man on the street.”
Kevin Bacon

The final straw came the other day watching Smerconish on CNN. While he’s usually very enjoyable, he hit a nerve when he had on as his guest Las Vegas casino bookmaker, Jimmy Vaccaro. The premise was the bookie gave out odds on who would get their party’s nomination although it is illegal to bet on the presidential campaign here in the U.S. of A.

It brought to mind the never ending speculation put forth by every TV news analyst regarding what was about to happen wherever it was supposed to occur. This tendency is most evident when the discussion turns to whether Vice President Joe Biden will be entering the presidential fray. Every time the subject is broached, it’s up to these so-called analysts to appease the host and the audience by fiercely speculating about an unknown outcome. This, of course, is absolutely permissible as long as the guest refrains from saying “I don’t know.”

But they don’t know any better than you or me. Did any of these geniuses predict the summer of Trump? The Sanders surge?

Maybe it’s time to call these folks what they really are; they’re speculists. The speculist is repeatedly given an opportunity whenever they’re on CNN, MSNBC or FOX News to simply pull stuff from their collective butts just to keep the conversation going.

The Biden question, which can only be answered by Biden, himself, is only one example of how speculism has taken over the airwaves. The Middle East conundrum is another instance where every speculist can make something out of whole cloth as long it sounds somewhat reasonable. None of these folks knows what’s going to happen. That’s why there will always be a future.

Once upon a time, I was a broadcast journalist and radio talk show host. I clearly recall any number of times a guest of mine would enter into the realm of speculism, and every time I would act as a spoilsport and insist on knowing how the guest could tell the future so vividly. Never once did the guest ever admit just getting off the phone after talking to the Psychic Hotline.

Despite the stupidity of all this speculism**, the Smerconish show’s bit with the bookie did have an interesting twist. Seems Jimmy Vaccaro thinks making it legal to bet on the presidential races, or other for that matter, would induce a boon in voter turnouts by allowing those who participated in the gamble to have some skin in the game.

Frankly, it sounds a whole lot more fun than watching some of these speculists, who, a whole lot of the time, act like they do know what the first four letters of analyst is, since they always seem to be yapping with their heads up their asses.

*I thought I’d made the word up, but it exists.
**I think I did make that one up


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