Suicides and the Bullied

The new hot doc, Bully, raises a number of salient points about the relationship between school bullying and the lead-up to attempted and subsequent completed suicide. In fact, three of the five vignettes deal with situations whereby the child is either a danger to him or herself or a danger to others. In either case, modern mental health protocol calls for medical intervention and treatment.

With Bully, two of the five children do go on and complete suicide. In the other case, the child takes her mother’s gun and threatens the students on the ride to school.

The larger question, which is percolating among professionals and lay people, is the extent to which verbal or physical abuse within the confines of the school year is trigger enough to cause youngsters to opt for ending their lives. Furthermore, it is vital to discuss bullying and its possible effects since suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 10-24 years of age.

According to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention {AFSP}, harsh words or actions do not alone make for the unnecessary loss of one so young. There biological indicators as well as those related to the environment and personal/psychological conditions. Moreover, when coupled with a host of possible triggers and no barrier to the impulse, suicide completion becomes more likely.

The aforementioned triggers surely include bullying but there can be several other sparks, which can trip one, particularly a young one, LGBT or straight, into a death spiral. These can be drugs or alcohol, crisis in a relationship, loss of freedom, and the loss of a relative or close friend. It is also important to reiterate the stark link between suicide and mental health since AFSP estimates that 80-90% of those who live with a brain disorder live with a much higher suicide risk. The most unfortunate aspect of this equation is that many suicides can be prevented through proper medical care and keen observation on the part of parents, siblings and friends.

Take, for example, Tyler Long, the initial subject of Bully, We are told that Tyler succumbed in large part to incessant bullying and the blind eye turned by school administrators. However, a lawsuit filed against the Murray County, Georgia school district by Tyler’s parents, was thrown out before trial due to lack of evidence. There may have been solid reasons for Tyler’s suicide completion. He had just broken up with his girlfriend. He had just had a car accident. Indications are there was a rift, no matter how large, between Tyler and his parents. However, there were no recorded instances of bullying within the past 18 months.

Somehow, the link between suicide and bullying has morphed into an intransigent gospel, not to be questioned and to a certain degree being bullied leads directly {Do Not Pass Go} to the taking of one’s life. Furthermore, once the ball has started to roll, there is no turning back.

This is just not true, and it’s shame if this is becoming de riguer among the experts and rest of us. First of all, being bullied is, as stated previously, more than likely just one of the factors. Secondly, with proper concern and care, a needless death can be stopped dead in its tracks.

Suicides are not inevitable and confronting someone with the ideation will likely not anger them and cause them to act out on the urge. Interestingly, research has shown that confrontation has the effect of lowering the person’s anxiety and opening up important lines of communication, which decreases any impulsive tendencies. Further, it’s simply false to believe that once a person embarks on the path, there’s no dissuading them. AFSP states quite clearly: suicide is the most preventable of all deaths and almost any positive action may save a life.

We all have heard that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not all problems are of the bullying ilk. Moreover, being a good observer when there are obvious changes in behavior is key to coming to their rescue. . Visit afsp.org to learn more about ways to help when the situation presents itself. There’s no need to simply obsess as young lives wither and die by their own hand. You have two hands; stretch one out and pull someone back.